Chemo- Get Your Game Face On

Paula Ramsbottom
Feb 26, 2025
7 min read

Updated: May 6

I knew I was starting chemo right away. From the severity of the situation, there was no question about that. What I didn’t know was what to expect.

By the time I met with my oncologist, I had already discovered Dr. Joe Dispenza. I had a strong mindset, but I hadn’t mastered it yet. So when they told me I would be sitting through 10 hour chemotherapy infusions, I didn’t flinch. I was ready and willing to do whatever it took to survive.

The treatment plan included 6 rounds of chemotherapy alongside 2 immunotherapies. I also chose to do cold capping in hopes of preserving my hair, even though there were no guarantees. The doctors explained that even after six rounds, we would be lucky to see major improvement, especially considering the tennis ball sized tumor I had, along with six additional tumors throughout my body.

I was also in contact with the doctor from Verthermia, which specializes in full body hyperthermia treatments. He too was concerned about the size of the largest tumor and recommended completing 3 rounds of chemotherapy before attempting hyperthermia.

As I’ve mentioned before, I was willing to do whatever it took, and that included integrating alternative healing methods alongside conventional medicine. Thankfully, my entire team was open minded about that approach, and for that I will always be grateful.

I invested in an infrared sauna because of its potential benefits for chemotherapy side effects and its role in holistic cancer support. I did cold plunges daily, even on my worst days. I worked with an acupuncturist who became crucial in helping manage side effects, and I incorporated massage therapy for lymphatic drainage. I was also working closely with a naturopathic oncologist I had been seeing since 2020.

When I look back now, I realize I had created a powerful combination of doing everything I possibly could to heal.

My naturopath gave me an extensive supplement protocol to support my body through treatment and help fight the cancer. She also advised me on foods and habits to avoid during chemotherapy. Her protocol included fasting for 2 days before chemo, the day of treatment, and 2 days afterward. I followed a strict keto diet, avoided using the infrared sauna for 7 days after treatment, and then used it as often as possible leading up to the next round. Exercise remained incredibly important, although thankfully movement had already been part of my life for years.

And of course, sleep. Good old fashioned rest.

Round 1.

I woke up early, meditated, did a cold plunge, and packed my two oversized bags for the long day ahead. Ten hours connected to a chemotherapy machine while wearing a freezing cap on my head and frozen socks on my feet to help prevent neuropathy was no joke.

Because of the cold cap, I could only disconnect from the machine for a total of 8 minutes the entire day.

Bathroom breaks had to be quick, and outside of that, I stayed confined to my little corner of the infusion room. I would stand whenever possible and do squats beside my chair just to keep my body moving.

Thankfully, I was allowed visitors, and that made an enormous difference. Having people there with me helped the hours pass faster and reminded me that I wasn’t fighting alone.

When the day ended, I was exhausted, but it still felt manageable. I stayed diligent with every single one of my healing practices between rounds.

Round 2.

This time I walked in feeling more confident because I knew what to expect. The infusion itself felt very similar, but the days afterward were different.

The fasting was becoming too much.

I had already lost significant weight from keto, and the extended fasting left me nauseous, weak, and depleted. I tried pushing through it, but my body simply couldn’t handle the full protocol anymore.

Round 3.

After this round, I had another PET scan.

By then, most of my hair had thinned dramatically, and I had visible bald patches across the top and back of my head. The cold cap had become increasingly painful and instantly triggered headaches the moment it touched my scalp.

This time, I shortened my fast from 5 days to 3.

When I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. My eyelashes were gone. My eyebrows were gone. My body looked thin and exhausted.

I think this was one of the hardest parts mentally.

People often say chemotherapy compounds with every round, and I could feel that happening. But despite everything, I never stopped doing all of my other healing practices. I refused to surrender mentally.

Some mornings I would stand in front of the mirror and give myself full pep talks just to keep going. Reminding myself that I had this. Reminding myself that I was stronger than my fear.

It takes an incredible amount of strength not to let something like this completely break you mentally, and I’m proud that I won that battle.

The day after round 3, while still fasting, I became violently sick. I was vomiting nonstop, and my watch repeatedly alerted me that my heart rate had dropped below 40 bpm. I received 17 separate heart alerts before finally going to the ER.

At the hospital, they kept a defibrillator attached to me in case my heart stopped. My heart rate hovered between 32 and 38 bpm for hours. The doctors believed severe dehydration was likely the cause, and it took several days for my heart rate to stabilize again.

Then my PET scan results came back.

Not only had 5 of the 7 tumors completely disappeared, but the large remaining tumor looked like swiss cheese.

My medical team was stunned.

When I was first diagnosed, I had been told that only 1% of people with my condition survive beyond one year. My case itself was already rare, which made the pool of comparable patients incredibly small. The statistics were terrifying, but from the beginning I had decided I would become part of that 1%.

What we had accomplished in only 3 rounds of treatment, alongside all of my holistic approaches, felt like a massive victory.

Round 4.

At this point, I could only manage about 48 hours of fasting, and honestly, I felt guilty for not being able to do more. I constantly wrestled with the feeling that I needed to do everything perfectly while also trying not to push my body so far that I became too weak to continue treatment.

My friends continued showing up for infusion days, and their presence made an enormous difference emotionally.

The day after treatment, my watch once again started alerting me about dangerously low heart rates. This time, I also noticed my breathing felt shallow and off.

Back to the ER.

After more testing, my oncologist realized I was experiencing a very rare side effect from Keytruda called myocarditis. The decision was made to stop Keytruda immediately, and suddenly I found myself seeing a cardiologist weekly for echocardiograms because my heart was now considered at serious risk.

Once again, I leaned deeply into my meditations with Dr. Joe Dispenza.

I was also told I could no longer pursue Verthermia because of the myocarditis, which devastated me because I had viewed it as an important backup option. But strangely, losing that option forced me to trust myself even more.

Round 5.

This round was hard.

I was terrified of what chemotherapy might do to my heart, and by this point I could only tolerate 24 hour fasts. Around that time, I had also booked a Dr. Joe Dispenza Retreat scheduled two weeks before my final treatment, and honestly, it became the light I focused on through everything else.

By then, the cold cap made my entire body feel frozen. I felt weaker than I ever had before. Even the smell of the infusion center started making me nauseous. I drank endless cups of hot tea just trying to stay warm, until eventually even the smell of tea became unbearable.

To this day, I still cannot smell or drink tea without feeling nauseous.

I knew my heart rate would likely drop again, but instead of panicking, I tried to surrender into trust.

I had to stop exercising for 3 weeks because of my heart, but I was relieved when my echocardiograms slowly began showing improvement without medication.

The retreat ended up becoming one of the most transformative experiences of my life. For the first time, I truly felt like I had mastered my mind instead of being controlled by fear.

I came home the day before round 6.

Round 6.

I walked into my final treatment fearless.

But as any warrior learns, true strength often reveals itself most during moments of weakness.

This ended up being one of my hardest rounds physically, and yet I fought through every minute of those 10 hours. I will never forget my sweet friend Deena sitting beside me while I dry heaved into a bag and struggled to even hold a conversation.

When I look back at that day now, I understand something important.

That is what fighters are made of.

After round 6, I had another PET scan.

This time, I wasn’t even surprised by the results.

I knew then, just as I know now, that I will overcome this.

I had no active cancer.

Even writing those words still feels surreal.

After only six rounds of treatment, I had achieved what many believed would be impossible. And thankfully, my oncologist also recognized that everything else I had been doing mattered too. My mindset mattered. My healing practices mattered. My belief mattered.

I survived all of this while raising a newborn, showing up for my family and friends, grieving the loss of my beloved dog Brody, and completely rebuilding who I was over the course of four and a half months.

If I could say one thing to my old self, it would be this:

Don’t wait until your back is against the wall to become the person you want to be. Become that person now.

One moment I will never forget was Logan’s preschool graduation. It took place the day after round 5, and there was nothing that would have stopped me from being there.

I had to leave the auditorium multiple times because I felt like I was going to faint, but I never let him see it.

Not once did my sweet boy know how much I was struggling.

I didn’t miss a single important moment with my family.

When you face death, time becomes sacred in a way you can never fully understand until you live it yourself. The people I spend my time with, the memories we create, and the experiences we share all became infinitely more valuable to me.

I want to build a life my family will cherish forever.

I will forever be deeply grateful to every friend and family member who sat beside me during infusion days, helped care for Victor when I physically couldn’t, and poured love into me throughout this journey.

A grateful mind and love in your heart truly can heal so much, and I could not have walked through this without all of you.

Thank you for not judging my choices or dismissing my holistic approaches. Thank you for helping me hold my head high. And thank you for understanding that the fight was incredibly hard, even when I tried to make it look easy.

I am strong.

And I will overcome this ❤️

I knew I was starting chemo right away. From the severity of the situation, there was no question about that. What I didn’t know was what to expect.

By the time I met with my oncologist, I had already discovered Dr. Joe Dispenza. I had a strong mindset, but I hadn’t mastered it yet. So when they told me I would be sitting through 10 hour chemotherapy infusions, I didn’t flinch. I was ready and willing to do whatever it took to survive.

I was also in contact with the doctor from Verthermia, which specializes in full body hyperthermia treatments. He too was concerned about the size of the largest tumor and recommended completing 3 rounds of chemotherapy before attempting hyperthermia.

As I’ve mentioned before, I was willing to do whatever it took, and that included integrating alternative healing methods alongside conventional medicine. Thankfully, my entire team was open minded about that approach, and for that I will always be grateful.

When I look back now, I realize I had created a powerful combination of doing everything I possibly could to heal.

And of course, sleep. Good old fashioned rest.

Round 1.

I woke up early, meditated, did a cold plunge, and packed my two oversized bags for the long day ahead. Ten hours connected to a chemotherapy machine while wearing a freezing cap on my head and frozen socks on my feet to help prevent neuropathy was no joke.

Because of the cold cap, I could only disconnect from the machine for a total of 8 minutes the entire day.

Bathroom breaks had to be quick, and outside of that, I stayed confined to my little corner of the infusion room. I would stand whenever possible and do squats beside my chair just to keep my body moving.

Thankfully, I was allowed visitors, and that made an enormous difference. Having people there with me helped the hours pass faster and reminded me that I wasn’t fighting alone.

When the day ended, I was exhausted, but it still felt manageable. I stayed diligent with every single one of my healing practices between rounds.

Round 2.

This time I walked in feeling more confident because I knew what to expect. The infusion itself felt very similar, but the days afterward were different.

The fasting was becoming too much.

I had already lost significant weight from keto, and the extended fasting left me nauseous, weak, and depleted. I tried pushing through it, but my body simply couldn’t handle the full protocol anymore.

Round 3.

After this round, I had another PET scan.

By then, most of my hair had thinned dramatically, and I had visible bald patches across the top and back of my head. The cold cap had become increasingly painful and instantly triggered headaches the moment it touched my scalp.

This time, I shortened my fast from 5 days to 3.

When I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. My eyelashes were gone. My eyebrows were gone. My body looked thin and exhausted.

I think this was one of the hardest parts mentally.

People often say chemotherapy compounds with every round, and I could feel that happening. But despite everything, I never stopped doing all of my other healing practices. I refused to surrender mentally.

Some mornings I would stand in front of the mirror and give myself full pep talks just to keep going. Reminding myself that I had this. Reminding myself that I was stronger than my fear.

It takes an incredible amount of strength not to let something like this completely break you mentally, and I’m proud that I won that battle.

The day after round 3, while still fasting, I became violently sick. I was vomiting nonstop, and my watch repeatedly alerted me that my heart rate had dropped below 40 bpm. I received 17 separate heart alerts before finally going to the ER.

At the hospital, they kept a defibrillator attached to me in case my heart stopped. My heart rate hovered between 32 and 38 bpm for hours. The doctors believed severe dehydration was likely the cause, and it took several days for my heart rate to stabilize again.

Then my PET scan results came back.

Not only had 5 of the 7 tumors completely disappeared, but the large remaining tumor looked like swiss cheese.

My medical team was stunned.

What we had accomplished in only 3 rounds of treatment, alongside all of my holistic approaches, felt like a massive victory.

Round 4.

At this point, I could only manage about 48 hours of fasting, and honestly, I felt guilty for not being able to do more. I constantly wrestled with the feeling that I needed to do everything perfectly while also trying not to push my body so far that I became too weak to continue treatment.

My friends continued showing up for infusion days, and their presence made an enormous difference emotionally.

The day after treatment, my watch once again started alerting me about dangerously low heart rates. This time, I also noticed my breathing felt shallow and off.

Back to the ER.

Once again, I leaned deeply into my meditations with Dr. Joe Dispenza.

I was also told I could no longer pursue Verthermia because of the myocarditis, which devastated me because I had viewed it as an important backup option. But strangely, losing that option forced me to trust myself even more.

Round 5.

This round was hard.

I was terrified of what chemotherapy might do to my heart, and by this point I could only tolerate 24 hour fasts. Around that time, I had also booked a Dr. Joe Dispenza Retreat scheduled two weeks before my final treatment, and honestly, it became the light I focused on through everything else.

By then, the cold cap made my entire body feel frozen. I felt weaker than I ever had before. Even the smell of the infusion center started making me nauseous. I drank endless cups of hot tea just trying to stay warm, until eventually even the smell of tea became unbearable.

To this day, I still cannot smell or drink tea without feeling nauseous.

I knew my heart rate would likely drop again, but instead of panicking, I tried to surrender into trust.

I had to stop exercising for 3 weeks because of my heart, but I was relieved when my echocardiograms slowly began showing improvement without medication.

The retreat ended up becoming one of the most transformative experiences of my life. For the first time, I truly felt like I had mastered my mind instead of being controlled by fear.

I came home the day before round 6.

Round 6.

I walked into my final treatment fearless.

But as any warrior learns, true strength often reveals itself most during moments of weakness.

This ended up being one of my hardest rounds physically, and yet I fought through every minute of those 10 hours. I will never forget my sweet friend Deena sitting beside me while I dry heaved into a bag and struggled to even hold a conversation.

When I look back at that day now, I understand something important.

That is what fighters are made of.

After round 6, I had another PET scan.

This time, I wasn’t even surprised by the results.

I knew then, just as I know now, that I will overcome this.

I had no active cancer.

Even writing those words still feels surreal.

After only six rounds of treatment, I had achieved what many believed would be impossible. And thankfully, my oncologist also recognized that everything else I had been doing mattered too. My mindset mattered. My healing practices mattered. My belief mattered.

I survived all of this while raising a newborn, showing up for my family and friends, grieving the loss of my beloved dog Brody, and completely rebuilding who I was over the course of four and a half months.

If I could say one thing to my old self, it would be this:

Don’t wait until your back is against the wall to become the person you want to be. Become that person now.

One moment I will never forget was Logan’s preschool graduation. It took place the day after round 5, and there was nothing that would have stopped me from being there.

I had to leave the auditorium multiple times because I felt like I was going to faint, but I never let him see it.

Not once did my sweet boy know how much I was struggling.

I didn’t miss a single important moment with my family.

When you face death, time becomes sacred in a way you can never fully understand until you live it yourself. The people I spend my time with, the memories we create, and the experiences we share all became infinitely more valuable to me.

I want to build a life my family will cherish forever.

I will forever be deeply grateful to every friend and family member who sat beside me during infusion days, helped care for Victor when I physically couldn’t, and poured love into me throughout this journey.

A grateful mind and love in your heart truly can heal so much, and I could not have walked through this without all of you.

Thank you for not judging my choices or dismissing my holistic approaches. Thank you for helping me hold my head high. And thank you for understanding that the fight was incredibly hard, even when I tried to make it look easy.

I am strong.

And I will overcome this ❤️

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