I don’t want to blame myself for what happened to my body, but I also can’t ignore the realization that our bodies were never designed to live in constant stress, fear, comparison, pressure, and disconnection. We are meant to live in a state of love, gratitude, connection, and presence. Instead, we live in a world that conditions us to constantly rush, compare ourselves to others, judge, overwork, overstimulate, and stress over everything. And don’t even get me started on the

There are so many people in life who have disappointed me, caused me rage and sadness, and failed me in relationships. For a long time, I told myself that I had “forgiven” these people. But the more I say those words out loud, the more I realize there is still so much left inside me that needs to be released, healed, and understood. The truth is, many of those people are walking around with no idea of the damage they caused, while I’ve been the one carrying the resentment on

Most people fear death. Of course they do. Life is precious. It’s expression, connection, movement, purpose. It’s laughter with your children, coffee in the morning, the smell of summer, the comfort of routine, the hope of what’s still ahead. No matter what season of life we’re in, there is something in all of us that wants more of it. More time. More love. More life. But just as much as we fear death, we also forget to fully live. We take so much for granted. That’s human na

I knew I was starting chemo right away. From the severity of the situation, there was no question about that. What I didn’t know was what to expect. By the time I met with my oncologist, I had already discovered Dr. Joe Dispenza. I had a strong mindset, but I hadn’t mastered it yet. So when they told me I would be sitting through 10 hour chemotherapy infusions, I didn’t flinch. I was ready and willing to do whatever it took to survive. The treatment plan included 6 rounds of

It’s interesting to look back at the person I was. I constantly lived preparing for the worst case scenario. I tried to control every aspect of my life that I could, just to avoid facing the things I couldn’t control. I remained “positive” that what I had was pneumonia, but underneath that positivity lived constant fear. The worst case scenario had already taken over my mind long before the diagnosis arrived. Looking back now, I realize I was my own worst enemy in the face of

It was finally induction day. Even though we had hoped everything would happen naturally, we were all excited that the day had finally arrived. Victor would finally make his appearance, and I would finally get to hold the baby we had waited so long for. I had carefully thought through what made the most sense for everyone involved, and our plan looked something like this: When we first arrived at the hospital to check our gestational carrier in, the staff had no idea this was

It’s incredibly difficult to entrust the most valuable thing in your life to another person. That’s exactly how I feel about this baby. I think it’s easy for people to overlook the amount of appreciation and gratitude involved in a journey like this, because there are so many moving parts and emotions for everyone involved. But I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that. Our GC, our gestational carrier, will probably never read this, but it still feels important for me to

There are so many baby products out on the market and it can become overwhelming sifting through it all to find the best for your baby. It is also dependent on preference of what the parent prefers, but I'm here to share the tried and true things that I love and that worked really well for us. I will also be sharing the things that I think are gimmicky and that are not needed in my opinion. The Snoo I cannot recommend this enough. It was actually a life saver and worth every

One of the hardest parts about motherhood is the internal guilt we carry while constantly wondering if we are truly doing our best. I think it’s incredibly easy for moms to second guess their decisions, compare themselves to other mothers or households, and quietly shame themselves in the process. When you have a newborn, there are endless things to worry about, but one of the biggest and most emotional topics is feeding your baby. There’s often this belief that breastfeeding

Maybe it’s written in my lucky stars, or maybe life simply isn’t always fair. About two weeks before our trip to the Dominican Republic, I developed a cough. No fever. No congestion. No other symptoms. Just a lingering cough that slowly became more annoying every day. After about 10 days of dealing with it, I finally went to see my primary care doctor. She listened to my lungs, said everything sounded clear, and told me to take Mucinex twice a day until it resolved or come ba

I love the idea of a babymoon. There’s something really special about taking time to reconnect with your partner before the beautiful chaos of newborn life begins. As exciting and meaningful as bringing home a baby is, it also changes everything. Life gets louder, sleep disappears, routines shift, and suddenly your entire world revolves around this tiny human. When I was pregnant with Logan, Rich and I took a babymoon to Hawaii, and it felt like absolute bliss. This babymoon,

Everyone says it takes a village to raise children. And honestly, I think the village you choose matters more than almost anything else, because the people you surround yourself and your children with will inevitably shape your lives in some way. One thing I quickly learned after becoming a mom is just how hard it can be to make new friends as an adult. And I specifically say new friends because even your old friendships naturally change after having children. Life becomes bu

When I was pregnant with Logan, I had planned what I thought would be the most beautiful baby shower. I had envisioned every detail so carefully, and then Covid happened. The entire event had to be canceled. Even though many people chose to move their showers online virtually during that time, I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. It just didn’t feel the same to me. For years afterward, I always carried this thought in the back of my mind:“When I have my second child, I’ll finall

As I sit here in this hotel room reflecting on the past couple of years it took us to reach this moment, everything feels a little surreal. Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond grateful. We are finally approaching our little boy’s due date, and I feel incredibly blessed to even be here. But at the same time, it’s hard not to feel emotionally detached from parts of this experience. And honestly, I think the past month has a lot to do with that. Maybe part of it is because I was abl

Since my hysterectomy, I’ve had a cyst growing on my left ovary. We had been monitoring it every six months, but unfortunately, it continued to grow over time. By my ultrasound in July 2023, the cyst had reached 5 centimeters. Oddly enough, most people would probably experience significant pain from something that size, but because I no longer have a uterus, there was less pressure in that area and I actually wasn’t experiencing much discomfort at all. Even though I wasn’t in

Rich and I were so excited to finally attend the anatomy scan together for baby Victor. During my pregnancy with Logan, Covid restrictions prevented Rich from being there for many appointments, including the anatomy scan, so being able to experience this moment together this time around felt incredibly special ❤️ We met our gestational carrier at her OB office, and thankfully the appointment brought nothing but good news. Everything looked fantastic. Baby Victor was healthy,

It’s been a complete whirlwind around here the past couple of weeks, so I apologize for the little hiatus from my blog posts. I’ll be sharing the exciting news behind all the chaos soon, but for now I wanted to continue documenting our surrogacy journey because these moments have meant so much to us ❤️ Our first OB appointment was on 5/31, and honestly, I walked away from it feeling incredibly happy and reassured. Our gestational carrier made sure to include us through FaceTi

As I sit here enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before Logan wakes up at 7am, I can’t help but reflect on how much intentional structure we created around sleep when he was a baby. And honestly, it ended up being one of the best decisions we made for our family. Before I go any further, I want to say this clearly:there is absolutely no mom shaming in this post. Every baby is different.Every parent is different.And every family needs to do what works best for them. But for us, sl

March 23rd could not come fast enough. By that point, we had already booked all of our gestational carrier’s flights and hotel accommodations. Her monitoring appointments showed everything was lining up perfectly for transfer, and for the first time in a long time, it finally felt like things were truly moving forward. I was in the room with our GC and her partner while Rich waited outside in the parking lot. He had just recovered from a cold, and we didn’t want to risk him p

This might honestly be one of the hardest parts of the entire surrogacy process. Not only is the demand for gestational carriers incredibly high, but at the end of the day, you are also asking another person to carry your child. And for someone like me, that level of trust felt enormous. There are several different ways people find a gestational carrier. Some are fortunate enough to have a family member or close friend offer to carry for them. Others work through agencies, wh