It’s incredibly difficult to entrust the most valuable thing in your life to another person.
That’s exactly how I feel about this baby.
I think it’s easy for people to overlook the amount of appreciation and gratitude involved in a journey like this, because there are so many moving parts and emotions for everyone involved. But I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that.
Our GC, our gestational carrier, will probably never read this, but it still feels important for me to put these thoughts into words. Even though we text almost daily throughout this entire process, we’ve intentionally maintained healthy boundaries and mutual respect from the very beginning, and thankfully those boundaries never even needed to be clearly spoken out loud. They naturally existed between us.
First and foremost, I want to thank her for trusting me enough to let me help guide this journey.
I spent over a year and a half researching every aspect of surrogacy, IVF, pregnancy, clinics, protocols, contracts, and possible outcomes. So much time, energy, emotion, and preparation went into all of this long before we even began.
Of course, I made sure every one of her needs was met emotionally, physically, and financially throughout this process. But more importantly, there was trust between us. Neither one of us constantly second guessed the other, and that trust became one of the most valuable parts of this experience.
I know this hasn’t been easy on her.
I know we have all made sacrifices in different ways.
And honestly, one of the things I appreciated most was her willingness to communicate openly with me instead of simply informing me after decisions had already been made. That meant more to me than she probably realizes.
Becoming pregnant is already an incredible undertaking on its own.
But what she went through to get here deserves so much recognition and gratitude.
The medications.The injections.The ultrasounds.The bloodwork.The appointments.The physical discomfort.
It’s an enormous commitment.
I also think IVF as a gestational carrier is very different than doing IVF for yourself. When it’s your own child, your personal motivation naturally carries you through the difficult parts. But when you become a GC, there is an incredible level of selflessness involved.
Yes, there is financial compensation involved, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that honestly. But I also know money alone does not motivate someone to go through this process.
It takes a genuinely caring and compassionate person to willingly put their body, emotions, and life through something like this for another family.
And that deserves immense respect.
I also can’t thank her enough for all the little moments she shared with me along the way.
The belly pictures.The videos.The updates about his movements.The conversations about cravings and food aversions.The check ins before trips.The openness about anxieties, questions, or uncertainties.
Those things mattered so much more than she probably realized.
I’m a very open person emotionally, and finding someone who was equally transparent created so much comfort for both of us. We were able to communicate honestly and support one another throughout the process.
More than anything, I’m grateful she always made sure I felt like the mom through all of this.
From inviting me into doctor appointments, to sending me weekly “Happy ___ weeks, mama!” messages, to making sure I felt comfortable with every discussion involving labor and delivery, she consistently created space for me in this experience.
That meant everything to me.
As we near the end of this journey, I’ll admit it has become a little harder at times to stay grounded in appreciation because I think we are both simply ready for this chapter to come to an end.
But recently I realized that gratitude is exactly what I need to keep focusing on right now.
When I think back to the beginning of this journey, there were so many fears and unknowns. So many moments where I questioned whether any of this would actually work.
And now here we are, preparing to meet our sweet miracle.
That perspective changes everything.
I could not be more grateful that this worked.That only one embryo transfer was needed.That our sweet baby boy has remained healthy and strong.That there have been no major complications.And that everyone involved has continued doing whatever it takes to get him here safely.
Writing this fills my heart with so much more peace than anxiety.
I think it’s important for me to allow myself to feel every emotion that comes with this experience instead of trying to suppress them. But at the end of the day, I also get to choose what I focus on.
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